Psychic Journal

qigong and qigong healing

2008-09-11T16:11:46Z

since my last record, i have done jade body 3 times, yuan shen 3 times, scalp massage 1 time, jade woman 1 time, and 8 brocades 1 time.

the most recent time i did yuan shen was in a new park to me. i was a bit distracted but my mind let go of distractions quickly with each, and my practice was powerful.

i did healing qigong for my mom's headache (the first time she's accepted my offer) and she was very responsive and her headache diminished then went away completely. part way through treating her, i realized that her blockage was originating somewhere around her teeth, jaw, throat, so i drew from there up and out bai hui. she immediately opened her eyes and said that she had a swift involuntary movement of "breath" that drew from the top of her throat up through her head. i was so excited!!! i told her to massage that area of her jaw/teeth if her headache came back.

this morning my right wrist was throbbing (arthritis) terribly as i was just gaining wakefulness. i turned on my side and held my wrist with my left hand, focusing qi there and the pain went away within a few minutes.

Lots of Qigong

2008-09-02T23:17:46Z

Since I last journaled I have practiced Yuan Shen 10 times, Jade Body 6 times, Six Sounds Chanting Therapy 2 times, 1000 Hands Budha 1 time, and Scalp Massage 3 times. I practiced at home in my room, at the park, at work, at the beach, on a hike, and in an old church building at my family gathering. I had several days off work over the Labor Day holiday and very much enjoyed Qigong everyday!

I had a strange massage at the beach in which the LMT took way more energy from me than she gave.

I gathered stones at the ocean to do hot rock massage for Amie.

I shared Jade Body with interested family members at the Reunion. Not one person felt comfortable doing the mantras. I tried for only a minute to help Troy with his headache but too many people were making fun of us and he felt embarassed so I stopped.

yuan shen

2008-08-16T04:51:34Z

amie and i did yuan shen in the park this morning. i had not got all of the transitions between movements down yet, and some sections were still confusing, but i felt much more confident by the time we were done with the form in general.

qigong in the park put us in the mood for duck noodle soup but we got sidetracked and ended up eating bejing hotpot. good god it was scrumptious.

6 sounds chanting therapy, yuan shen, jade body, dragon breathing, scalp massage, 5 mountain meditat

2008-08-15T06:24:41Z

A few nights ago I did six sounds therapy. I had been having some stomach troubles for a week or so and while I was doing the yellow visualization and sound for stomach spleen, a small area of my gut started hurting and pulling like a band. it was a couple inches above my navel and to the left (my left). I also did the meditation that follows 6 sounds. I was worried about Gus being at the foot of my bed because the visualization at the end of this meditation is that negative energy leaves through your big toes.

A couple of nights ago while I was trying to sleep I was having a lot of anxiety--worrying about Amie starting this new program in a few weeks and about things that will be completely outside of my control. (I've suffered a lot of insomnia and light/poor sleeping for the past few weeks.) I was very angry with Amie. My mind was spinning. Then I did 5 mountain meditation and my continued to spin. Then all at once I experienced a sudden letting go, a wave of acceptance, and nearly immediately fell asleep--unheard of for me when I'm having anxiety and insomnia. In my dream that night, there was a young woman who was full of light and energy and she was present with me during the whole dream, she never spoke a word, but smiled a lot and was very connected to me. then part way through the dream she was very pregnant. i felt like she was enlightened somehow. i woke up feeling much better emotionally.

Yesterday I went to the park before my acupuncture appointment and did Yuan Shen, Jade Body, Dragon Breathing, and Scalp Massage and following meditation. Then I walked to acupuncture. I talked to my acupuncturist about the anxiety, insomnia, constipation, and pain in my stomach, and my cold. He did some heat releasing points in my shoulders and neck and placed needles around bai hui, put one in my left foot, one to the right of my navel, and one in my navel. He rotated the needle in my navel in half-circle rotations for a minute or so while, at his suggestion, I focused my energy there moving out from the needle in concentric circles. The needling point is apparently less important in this method than the needling technique and the participation of the patient in directing energy. Then he left me with the needles and heat on my belly for 20 minutes or so. When he came in to take out the needles I told him that the needling had caused my mouth to fill with saliva--he was excited because the point he needled in my foot was meant to increase fluid movement. Then I explained that the point in my belly button eased pain and tightness in my belly as well as some fears I had been experiencing. He explained that this point was on my kidney channel and also in some 5-element triangle heavy on earth energy. It was an incredible appointment. And after it my cold symptoms were almost completely gone. I recovered a lot of energy.

jade body, yuan shen

2008-08-05T03:04:20Z

on my lunchbreak thursday, july 31st by the greenhouse. very good practice! started with warm-ups. love the heaven breathing and earth breathing movement (3). having some difficulty with transitions, will check my papers.

back at work debi was having troubles moving her head left to right. asked her if she wanted me to try to help. she said yes. found out when she came in my office that they've discovered she has a slipped disk. she's still hooked on vicadin, and had an epideral in her upper spine the day before i tried healing qigong. she said that she felt pain during my treatment whereas she felt only numbness before (??) and that she wanted to come back again.

today debi asked if i could help her. it turned out that my day was too busy. i feel bad about it, but needed to get a lot done.

over the weekend amie and i did qigong warm ups and the first part of yuan shen at a park. strange--i had some sense during the practice that there'd been serious "power struggles" on that land. curious about what kind of conflict that might have been. also cool that in the grove of trees we started practicing in we were under a tree that was home to an owl. pellets all over underfoot full of bones and feathers.

today i went to my brother's house at 6:30 a.m. and practiced warm ups, yuan shen then jade body while he meditated. turns out qigong may be too noisy to practice while someone meditates. we may try again.

amie was bit by several mosquitos on saturday and her bites became very red and swollen almost instantly. her ankle became so swollen that you could barely see the bone on the outside. i did qigong several times over all of the swelling. while treating the bite on her leg, my hand kept drifting to a spot nearby the bite. i told her this and she said that the spot is a serious spleen point. . .don't know the significance of this but might try to find out.

shi shi whoo and Yuan Shen

2008-07-28T04:08:04Z

yesterday morning amie and i went to a park near our home and did the walking qigong, shi shi whoo, for the lungs. like last time, it hurt my sinuses a lot. dr. liu dong says that practice is good for allergies and for balancing the emotions. we also did warm ups then started yuan shen but had to run home to pee.

i met a group of 6 other ling gui students at laurelhurst today: steve, joel, joyce, katherine, the guy from dallas whose name i don't remember and a 4th or 5th year student i've never met. we did yuan shen twice. i like this form more and more. got clarification on the last two movements. the group also started wu wei--i tried this form for a minute or two but since i don't really have it down, haven't found any love for it yet, and needed to meet amie for breakfast, i left before the group wrapped up.

a lot of energy work yesterday

2008-07-24T03:03:14Z

yesterday i was so excited about the new qigong forms, meditations, and warm ups i learned at the retreat that on my lunch hour i used an empty conference room to do warm ups, yuan shen qigong, and dragon and tiger forms. then when i got home i did scalp massage and its finishing meditation and then jade body qigong with amie. after jade body i felt very charged. amie asked if i would work on her painful tail bone and i was glad to do it as my hands were very energized. this is the first time i've done qigong before the hands-energy work that i've begun and the difference was significant. my intention was focused and there was a lot of energy flowing from my hands immediately. i felt an urge to pulse my hands toward and away from her spine then after a while put my hands on her back and made stretching pulsing movements on along a 6 inch section of her spine. this is the first time i've felt like putting my hands on someone in the process of moving energy. i also felt at one point that i was "drawing out" and at that moment amie asked me if i was doing so. i've not had that impression before and i felt nervous all of a sudden and distracted. so i stopped what i was doing, breathed into my hands, shook them onto the plant by the bed, and ran cold water over them. (i don't know why but running water on my hands feels good and right after i have been doing intense energy moving.) after that i rubbed chinese red flower on her back. then i went onto the deck and did dragon breathing as a liver cleanse. amie's back and tailbone felt light and without pain. this morning her back was still pain-free.

i'm hoping that as i continue my qigong practice and progress in the school i will have better language to talk about what it is that is going on with my hands. i do feel confident that qigong is the right practice for cultivating whatever urge and propensity i am responding to. it would also be really great to talk with someone who has similar experiences. i realized today that qigong and this "healing urge" started in the same time frame about a year ago. . .hadn't made that connection before today. am remembering that the first time was in response to amie's headache, then an urge to help birdy's cyst, and then my computer!! i'm excited about this journey and wonder where i'm going.

Yuan Shen Qigong

2008-07-18T04:20:25Z

Today was the second day of Ling Gui summer retreat. I am exhausted physically. . .too tired to write but I want to jot down a couple of ideas in a bulleted list so I can say more later. we learned a walking qigong this morning for lungs and one for heart. I don't remember the masters whose style we learned but will find out. the rhythm is shi shi wu, shi shi wu. and shi shi shi shi wu wu wu. shi is an inhale and wu is an exhale. (maze of walkers)

-yuan shen qigong
-jade body review
-lecture on yuan shen (original qi), shi shen (heart/mind qi), yu shen (desire, liver)

more later!

Qigong at work

2008-07-17T15:01:51Z

On Monday the 14th I did self-massage and Jade Body on my lunch break under a tree. I for some reason have felt compelled to do Qigong facing South since summer began. The practice was good. I followed the practice with massaging my knee and directing qi and intention to it. On Tuesday the 15th I also did Jade Body.

Yesterday was the first day of the Ling Gui summer retreat. Dr. Lui Dong gave a lecture on Yuan Shen Qigong and we learned the first 4 movements of that form. . .will write more later as I'm out the door now for day two!

Qigong on a windy evening

2008-07-13T04:54:59Z

July 11, 2008

In April I started the Teacher Training Program at the Ling Gui International Healing Qigong School. At that time I began a paper diary of my practice. Because my handwritten entries tend to be sketchy and because I feel better able to express myself when writing with a computer, I’ve decided to pick up LiveJournal again, as a sort of Qigong practice log.

I practiced Jade Body this evening. I started out on the upstairs deck, but it was too windy so I moved to the yard. I discovered last week that if I practice in the wind I feel like I “leak” or waste a lot of energy and I have a difficult time keeping track of the sequences. Tonight, when gathering Qi during the “Buddha washes his body” sequence, the smell of earth below me filled my senses and brought the yellow color from my practice of “Six Sounds Therapy” with it. Its curious to me that this seems to be one of the movements that is often accompanied by a sensation or visualization for me. A couple of weeks ago during the same sequence, I "saw" that I was pulling up small smooth stones, like river rocks. I do not know what this means.

so far this morning. . .

2007-06-22T16:25:22Z

i smile and breath deeply biking along the river. i laugh and wonder at the stories of my friend hedda. i swoon at bjork’s and antony’s dull flame of desire lighting my office. i miss grouchy cousin troy on his first day in mexico. i worry that he’s lonely in his group of friends. i wait for my brother to answer my i.m. i wonder whether to ask a grieving friend for a favor. i get butterflys thinking of visiting sara. i remember a humiliating quip delivered by my girl. i sooth myself with another’s embarrassing moment. i think of last night’s dream in which i hoot happily at the orchestra reading a painting to make amazing music. i am tired from too little sleep. i am grateful for waking up with fictish, the loving peeps in my life, these first days of summer, for my dogs, my home, health, my bike and my job.

skmo @ 2007-03-15T13:36:00

2007-03-15T20:42:23Z

My girl, my mom, and I tried a new vegan tavern a couple nights ago. Big ol’ space in the industrial part of town. On Granny’s occasional visits to the city years back she might have stopped at this former Yankee Pot Roast and looked out while eating, like we did, over the barrels and freight boxes, trains cars, and automobile yards to the river. The restaurant is all fake meat now, 24 oz icy mugs of organic beer, and folks dressed up like pirates. Good times.

Early days of mine were spent a few miles north along the Columbia River. Granny lived there too and she was the river. I’m past my anger, most days, and hatred for the town and it’s brother across the water, of their mills (that bought my food) and the sick air and fouled water they made. The river was a presence for me of things outside and far back, and inside and moving. As a child, I watched it from the window and walked through the town park to find its quiet shores. I sat at its side and asked questions. I loved it for what power it still held and its beauty. I was filled with sadness for its willingness to cradle “progress” in its lap without a fucking word to say for itself.

room in my head

2007-01-25T17:37:20Z

i’ve had no room in my head or time in my work days of late to update LJ. but here’s making a go of it. . .(oops, i’ve just interrupted this entry by keying a list of things i should be doing instead. for your enjoyment, the list has been removed. if oogling over the to-do lists of others gives you pleasure or relief, please supply an e-mail address and i will make your day.)

my thoughts are dropping all twirlly like marbles, hard and scattered. . .

my brother is having surgery on his foot at this moment. because he regularly boasts that HE is NEVER sick (emphasis designed to illuminate my persistent state of ailing,) i’m certain he’s poised, leg-up, for a rough round.

i’m pale as a ghost and people here are talking about it.

my parents have been car camping for a month in beef-eating texas and are hanging on to their new veganism by thin strands of organic kelp harvested off the pacific coast by oregon kayakers then laid to sun-dry on our ocean beaches. sleeping in their car in freezing weather (with head colds,) finding nothing to eat save those who recently considered the world from two eyes, and tiring of the inarguably big, backward ways of texans, they’ve decided to get the hell out of dodge and are making their way home this weekend.

i stunk up the kitchen this week in an unsuccessful attempt to sprout radish, broccoli, and quinoa seeds. four days later and a counter-top full of rotting seeds, i learned, in true eskimo fashion (mocking by a loved one,) that sprouting seeds are meant to be rinsed and DRAINED twice a day. turns out bacteria do swimmingly well eating and pooping away their days in tepid, standing water. seeds do not.

i’ve found this wonderful card by ryo tagaki and am going to give it to my girl today. . .the sun is low and the vibe is piquant with a twist of love-ache like the slow-life walking weekend days we spend together. plus she thinks persimmons are lovely.

Hopscotch Radio

2006-11-16T23:41:16Z

A half-hour in direct sunshine then swaying and shakin'it to Heddalee's Hopscotch Radio. . .i'm smiling now and feeling sweet happy good-afternoon baby happy.

STOP ANIMAL TESTING

2006-11-09T17:38:36Z

http://www.stopanimaltests.com/feat/testing123/index.asp

what i eat!

2006-11-07T23:11:09Z

alright, i've done it for true. gone veganplusfish and avoided wheat for two weeks now! am amazed at how delicious meat- dairy- wheat-less food can be! sunday night i made an outstanding quinoa loaf from broccoli, parsnips, onions, potatoes, rice n oat flour, sunflower seeds, soy lecithin, miso, and quinoa of course. it was so fresh my dad called me swooning over the half-loaf we shared with him. and yesterday my mom, who's on board too, made the most tummy-warming, creamy comforting bowl of cauliflower soup i've ever tasted--using sesame tahini as the fat and oatmeal as the gluten.

i'm a true believer in humans being meat-eaters. a believer too that the current relationship between most lower-48 meat/animal product-eaters and the animals they exploit is sick and ugly and i want way out. my understanding of this has been developing for about fifteen years and is all mine--it's a powerful thing to feel right in my skin about something that's caused me a lot of shame and anxiety.

my value of respectfully giving and receiving gifts is still a strong one though and i doubt i'll turn down animal products offered me by one of my elders. hopefully they will understand and respect my choices though and not offer me any meat. another decision i'll need to make is whether to eat meat from animals raised by my family members or other local farmers when we gather for yearly family celebrations. hmmnnn. . .i'm up for the challenge of negotiating these choices!

as for the fish, i have enough access to fisher-people through my family and work that i’ll be enjoying a little smoked salmon a couple times a week. plus, i have very little problem with the relationship between fisher-people and the wild- line-caught fish they catch and kill.

here’s to a happy consience! and my cracking fingers (so much cooking, so many dishes) are crossed for good health in this big decision.

Bin Laden - Immortal Technique Feat Mos Def

2006-11-07T16:23:30Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1RwfjdM2Ro

Dvinsk Clan-Le Parkour

2006-11-03T20:38:27Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEbYtOEftc0&eurl=

skmo @ 2006-11-03T10:36:00

2006-11-03T18:36:48Z

My flyer for Hedda's Missing Gladys

HALLOWEEN PICS!

2006-10-30T16:56:02Z

skmo @ 2006-10-26T08:54:00

2006-10-26T15:57:10Z

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

skmo @ 2006-10-25T09:26:00

2006-10-25T16:35:29Z

getting back in the swing after two weeks of traveling.

denver was alright. stayed at the burnsley--1960's condos turned hotel--pretty view of the city from my 10th floor patio. some cool architecture but downtown food was terrible corporate crap. discovered “watercourse foods” vegetarian restaurant and vegan bakery the second to last day there—delectable!

and last week all week was atlanta. gods balls, i love that city!! marta (pub trans) was fine and dandy and took fictish and me everywhere after my work days. . .

peeing in the stall at jamaica jamaica restaurant in underground atlanta, the pee-er next to me said “i love your blue earrings! when you walked in i tol’ my girl, ‘check those fine earrings,’ and she responded, ‘you don’t need to be buying nothing else today!’” when we emerged from our stalls, we talked more about my earrings and i gave them to her because she loved them. back at our tables, next to each other, i discovered her “girl” was her very fine female lover (who bought me a tasty “bob marley” for my earrings.) to the live music reggae beat and croon of the every-friday-night-band, we talked and laughed and broke it down (chair dancing,) enjoying plate-fulls of seafood, jamaican rice, and rum drinks. good times. so many queers in atlanta! knock-yer-fuckin’-socks-off hot.

took some guidebook’s suggestion to see “cabbagetown”. . .another gentrification nightmare. “for sale” signs up everywhere, new “registered national historic site” placards nailed onto the pretty little homes (face-lifted and possessed by some new spirits) sitting next to hard-living houses aging with little grace, old inhabitants rocking on front-porch chairs staring at what’s around the corner.

in a new fantasy i’m a concierge at a fancy-pants downtown atlanta hotel. of course all my peeps have followed me to this pretty city and are happily doing their respective things on a tuesday afternoon.

atlanta’s got a whole different style of policing than portland. cops everywhere, but nice cops, who bullshit with folks, give directions, act like regular people. and lots of cops of color.

and the people we bumped into—cab drivers, marta riders, restaurant and hotel workers, grocery shoppers, strangers on the street—were way friendlier than their human counterparts in the portland area, making easy conversation in a slow (southern?) way.

who knew georgia is pretty and green?

one last phrase of high praise for atlanta. . .i finally found a place that made this ‘skmo sweat—what welcome miniscule beads of water surprised my unsuspecting back and arms and legs and neck and belly with wondrous wet!

what's up. . .

2006-09-28T15:34:44Z

the third floor has been erected on all four new condos next to our little rental. kens and barbies are rolling through the hood in cool rides, eyes hooded by cameras or irises afire with the dazzle of what will be. like those who sought the $385k condos across the street, these will ignore us--neighbors chillin on the porch, playing in the street, bumpin in our small homes--as they park in our driveways and scramble to admire and hope over their new $450k diggs. one rich bitch from the last round of condo shoppers shooed off the sidewalk my girl and me because we were "in her way!" as she leaned her shrunken little golden prune-head from her s.u.v. to take a photo of the infill.

hooked on oolong tea.

the whole pack of hormone medication hit the round file yesterday cuz ive turned bitch, it seems, since the first drop. how to stop the bleeding now?

considering a long-range plan to further unplug my home from the bullshit (already no car, no tv, no microwave, no land-line, no computer, groceries local when possible and meat happy always.) talked with my girl and my friend about putting yurts on land out of town and making a small farm to feed and keep us. but the city calls, and i answer, with a heart full of love, that i will not likely abandon it.

i've discovered psalm one, who spits nice and (bonus) is a sexy dyke as far as i can tell.

time based art festival with hedda was fun. . .especially talking to edie in oakland on the computer. she drew us and faxed it on-site. we drew her and taped ours up with the other attempts to represent her pretty face.

my knees are swollen still and bleeding from the tri-met accident (exactly one week later.)

i found another lost dog (or did she find me?) and led her home on two shoestrings tied together, compliments of a resourceful elderly neighbor. sweet and soft girl who my neighbor took in. true to her nature, the little beagle is a barker.

i love mangos. god in heaven, i love mangos.

fictish and me bought a box of sweet yellow perfectly ripe bartlett pairs in hood river on sunday. what a gorgeous light full of hot autumn day. on the ride home, from tribal members at the bridge of the gods, lori bought 200 dollars worth of coho salmon. long silver bodies on ice in her industrial white coolers. they smelled like water and a trip in the fall of the year. she'll smoke them and share. i met delilah begay from sililo who said that her teenage daughter, weighing and handling the fish from the bed of the pick-up, is the tough one, the fisherman who caught these beautiful bodies.

skmo @ 2006-07-28T15:01:00

2006-07-28T22:03:42Z

earlier i said "silly" optimism, right? well, still feeling fine and i've just been permanently laid off work. putting all my eggs in my next monday interview basket. . .

skmo @ 2006-07-26T09:59:00

2006-07-26T17:00:29Z

i'm in the eye of my work storm today and yet, am bubbling with silly optimism.??

wrote and mailed this letter to the keep company:

Hi Keep, from Portland Oregon. I’ve just returned from seven glorious days on the Oregon Coast, my summer vacation away from work and the city. My girl Amie and I spent quiet days reading, swimming in the Wilson river, hiking, frolicking on the beach with Birdy and Gus, the dog members of our family, and kayaking. Estuary kayaking in Tillamook County is extraordinarily lovely. We caught an incoming tide at Netarts Bay one afternoon and spent several hours floating with curious harbor seals whose disappearing sandbar forced an end to their sun-soaked lounging. To our surprise and delight, three of them had silvery babies nuzzling close on their backs!

The weather was excellent, cool mornings, and warm days with peaceful fog and cloud breaks. Perfect conditions, really, to break out the Keep owl sweatshirt my girl gifted me months earlier. Oh how I love this sweatshirt and how I hugged and kissed Amie for this thoughtful gift! She saw a little photo of it in Fader Magazine and thought of me right away. Owls have special meaning to me as an urban Yup’ik Eskimo person, representing spiritual insight and vision. Keep’s owl sweatshirt does not trivialize the owl by making it cutesy, nor does it villanize it by making it appear sinister. Instead, the artwork is serious and the design of the sweatshirt with the graphic swooping around the body gives the owl both gravity and flight. Did you know that the Keep owl sweatshirt is designed very much like a short-version Yup’ik kuspuk?!

In spite of how much I love my Keep owl sweatshirt, and how well it matches the clothes in my small stack of pants and t-shirts, I’ve worn it only three times before my summer vacation—once when bumping to “The Coup” live in Portland. (Bomb show, by the way.) You see, I work at the Native American Rehabilitation Association Indian Health Clinic which serves primarily American Indian people. While the owl is significant to my Indian cousins too, its medicine is in its messaging ability, often bringing news of death. You can see that wearing my Keep sweatshirt at the Health Clinic would be offensive, so I’ve saved it for evenings and special events.

So now I come to the reason for my letter. I got my Keep owl sweatshirt dirty for the first time on the beach during vacation. No problem, I thought. . .the rental has a washer and dryer. So I did it—washed it on the cold wash/cold rinse setting as per the instructions on the tag. However, when I pulled it from the wash to hang it dry, my favorite sweatshirt was warm (?) and very small. I am sad about it and don’t understand how it shrunk so much.

I’m including with this letter a picture of my dog Birdy and me (in my Keep owl sweatshirt) running on the beach at Oceanside, Oregon, my shrunken sweatshirt, a copy of a popular Yup’ik song about a snowy owl, a photo of one of the owl masks i’ve created, and a burned “Drums of the North: Traditional Yup’ik Songs” for your enjoyment. I would be most grateful and would promise not to be so careless as to subject it to an unfamiliar washing machine in the future if you could replace my sweatshirt.

Thank you for your time, for hearing my story, and for considering my request.